Zen And The Ending Of THE SOPRANOS

Thirteen years ago tonight The Sopranos came to an end. I’ll never forget sitting in my living room in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn, watching alone and thinking my cable went out in the final minutes. I sat there unsure what to do… and then the credits came up.

Over the years there have been arguments and there have been debates about just what happens in the final moments there in Holsten’s Brookdale Confectionery. Theories abound, and any time show creator David Chase speaks about it, people parse his every word for clues and hints. Was Tony Soprano killed? Did he die of a heart attack? Was it us, the audience, who was whacked? Or was this just the endless purgatory Tony would live in, unsure if the next time the door opened it would be someone to kill him or arrest him, a more intense version of Kevin Finnerty’s limbo, where Tony existed after being gutshot by Junior at the beginning of season six?

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I Get So Fucking Angry Every Day

I don’t wake up mad. That’s something. That’s a blessing. 

But I start to get mad soon after I awake. I check the news, and I begin getting angry. It’s manageable, though. I mean, as manageable as anything is these days – my head hurts a lot and my neck has been killing me. That neck pain, that’s the thing that lets me know how mad I was the night before. 

As the day goes on I find that anger laps at me like waves on a beach. Sometimes the anger will reach up, right up to my head and my face will get flush and I’ll mutter something like, “This motherfucker” or “Jesus fucking Christ.” But usually that anger breaks, again like a wave, and I’ll laugh at myself. 

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